More Than a Sacrifice

Last year I was just about 4 months pregnant.

I celebrated my first Mother’s Day.

But I had no idea what it meant to be mother.

Throughout my pregnancy, all I learned was that:

I was taking care of my health- body, mind and soul- to give my baby a safe place to grow.

I experienced morning sickness.

I had gestational diabetes.

I had to poke myself with a needle 4-5 times a day.

I couldn’t eat anything that I wanted to eat.

I had to go to the hospital 2 times a week for NSTs.

I was overdue, induced and endured labor and delivery.

I pushed through the pain of recovery and nursing.

I was overwhelmed trying to figure out how to take care of my little human.

But what I didn’t yet know…

The joy.

Oh, the joy.

How was I ever to know the joy I would have being a mother to my little Layla Mae?

Sometimes I just sit and think about it as I look at her.

How could I ever love you more than I do now?

I could just explode.

♥   ♥   ♥

I hear so often of  “the sacrifice” of motherhood.

So much we miss out on because of our children.

So much we could have been, could have done, could have had.

I expected to feel a sense of empathy and understanding for these women who proclaim this great “sacrifice” once I became a mother.

But that’s not how I feel.

That couldn’t be farther from the truth.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

Psalm 139:13-16

I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.

Before you were born I set you apart.

Jeremiah 1:5

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.

Jeremiah 29:11

I feel so incredibly blessed that God has allowed me to have a part in His creation.

My body was employed as God knit together Layla.

He knew her before she was born.

He thought about her. Designed her. Loved her.

He was with her as His special creation grew inside my womb.

Every day of her life had already been recorded in His book before she was even born.

He knew the plans that He had for her.

Good plans.

And those plans included me.

He chose me to be this precious child’s mother.

Her lifeline.

He allowed me to be a part of His miracle.

How amazing.

To be trusted with this child’s life-

providing for her, loving her, rearing her in the loving ways of the Lord so she too may know His sweet goodness-

does not equal sacrifice.

It equals privilege.

I am honored and I am humbled.

I do not take lightly this blessing.

With blessing comes responsibility.

God is using me as a vessel to show Layla His love for her.

As a mother comforts her child,
so will I comfort you.

Isaiah 66:13

Through my hugs.

My comfort.

My attention.

My delight.

My nourishment.

He provides for me so that I may provide for her.

He loves me, so that I may love her.

He comforts me, so that I may know how to comfort her.

He reveals Himself to me through my daily walk with Him, so that I may teach her His ways.

So that she may know Him.

So she may know that she was fearfully and wonderfully made.

With beauty.

The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.

Psalm 45:11

Created with purpose.

With plans.

With hope and a future.

God allows us, as mothers, such a significant role in the process of His creation, so that we may cultivate a bond and a love for our child unlike anything that we’ve ever experienced before.

An overwhelming desire to nurture, cherish and protect.

So natural and innate, yet so completely new.

To love so deeply.

An instinctive need and want to give of yourself wholly and freely.

No matter the cost or circumstance.

You give of yourself.

But you do not sacrifice yourself.

Instead, you fulfill the plans God had for you.

In reality, nothing you could have been, no career you could have had, no material wealth you could have obtained, no place you could have gone or thing you could have done could ever be more important than embracing the beautiful plan of motherhood that God has chosen for you.

What do you think God expects from you? Just this: Live in his presence in holy reverence, follow the road he sets out for you, love him, serve God, your God, with everything you have in you, obey the commandments and regulations of God that I’m commanding you today—live a good life.

Deuteronomy 10:12-13

Our culture values independence and self-indulgence.

It is easy to buy into propaganda that proclaims we aren’t enough.

That we are missing out.

That being a mother hinders us from our full potential.

Don’t allow yourself one more second of entertaining these lies.

Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children!

Psalm 127:3

Motherhood is not the road God sets out before every woman.

He has different plans for us all.

God chose me to be a mother.

What an honor. What a privilege.

I’ve known no greater joy than to be a mother to Layla and a wife to Jon.

My cup is overflowing.

I am truly, truly blessed.

♥   ♥  

Today, I celebrate God’s blessing on my life.

Not just in my own motherhood,

but God choosing my Mother for me.

He knew the plans He had for me when He picked her as my Mother.

She loved, she comforted, she was my safe haven.

She was the woman I looked up to and learned from as a child. She taught me to show love and compassion, to treat others fairly, and to be empathetic and considerate of peoples’ feelings. She has supported me, encouraged me and pointed me down the road less traveled: God’s ways are not the world’s ways but our foundation was solid and our moral convictions were strong. She lead by example, with conviction and integrity. She lent me her passion for creativity and influenced my love for sewing, crafting and decorating. We’ve traveled together, planned a wedding together, spent countless days shopping and antiquing and have memories to fill a lifetime.

She was the person I looked to for direction and guidance, comfort and love.

As a child no one ever tells you that you never really grow up inside.

You will mature, but you will always have a childlike longing for the love, comfort and approval of your Mother.

I am thankful that longing comes from a place that knows what it is to be loved, because I was shown love as a child.

I am grateful that God chose her for me and me for her.

I now have a better understanding of what it means to have the love of a Mother.

What a beautiful, priceless, precious thing that is.

Happy Mother’s Day to the Mothers AND the children of Mothers.

For one blessing couldn’t exist without the other.

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