It's a Doggy Dog World.

Yeah. I’m an idiot.

I’ve been saying that pretty much my whole life.

Not that I use that expression often. Or ever, really.

But that’s not the point.

I just discovered that I was wrong by way of Modern Family.

The sitcom.

Dog-eat-dog world.

That is a horrible expression! Why would dogs want to eat each other?!

I don’t care if doggy dog world doesn’t even make sense.

At least innocent dogs aren’t being eaten. By their dog pals!

(Meet Charlie, Dolly, Dallas and Toby up top)

How could they eat each other?

They are so lazy peaceful.

They only care about one thing: your attention. (How dare you shut them out while you take a shower. They will all wait for you until you are done… while looking under the door crack to watch for your feet. Except for Toby. He watches the baseboard.)

So I interviewed them to find out their thoughts on the phrase “Dog-eat-Dog”:

“I’d be lying if I said the thought didn’t cross my mind when another dog steals my ball. Or tries to win the affections of Papa. If I ever think I’m in danger of being eaten, I just play dead. But that usually only works around bears and the neighbor’s cat. I’m just a little guy. I don’t have much meat to offer anyway.” -Toby

“Hi there. I don’t even know you and I already love you. I love everyone. And everything. I may eat trash, grass, your shoes, makeup brushes, hair brushes, laundry, pencils, pens, Q-tips, cotton balls, anything plastic, wooden or objects that are easily accessible and/or forbidden… but eat one of my friends? You’ve reached a new low.” -Charlie

“I would never, ever eat another dog. Flies, insects, spiders, Waggin’ Train chicken jerky tenders and an occasional spaghetti sandwich when Jon gets up to answer the phone…now that’s a whole other story.” – Dallas

“Doggy dog world? Dog-eat-dog world? You both are wrong. The correct phrase is ‘It’s a Dolly dog world’. Besides, the way I see it, if I ate another dog it would just mean one less admirer of my beauty. And let’s be honest. I have the best ears you’ve ever seen.” -Dolly

It’s true. Even I’m jealous of her ears. And beautiful wavy coat.

You can only imagine my glee when I found this picture at HomeGoods:

Oh, come on. Tell me this doesn’t look like Dolly!

Dolly requested that I bring more attention to the frame. So I painted it red. And then she demanded that it be hung over the mantle.

I drew the line.

Who’s in charge around here anyway?

So we compromised.

She gets ONE painting to be displayed in the living room and nothing else.

And then I found this:

Ugh. Hallmark just HAD to put out a Dolly ornament.

“Just try resisting that ornament. Although it really does no justice to my ears.” -Dolly

It really is a Dolly dog world.

Am I the only one that has ever discovered they’ve been saying a word or phrase wrong the whole time? Has this ever happened to you? If not, would you like to admire Dolly’s stately good looks?

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