An Early New Years Resolution

It’s Fall time and there is nothing more on my mind right now than nesting in my cozy house and dreaming of all of the approaching holiday goodness. Goodness which includes the likes of Halloween candy, caramel apples, fresh baked pies, hot chocolate, a Thanksgiving feast, Christmas cookies, fudge and magic bars.

Doesn’t this time of year… the time to celebrate with the tastiest of all foods… seem like the perfect time to start eating healthy and begin a new exercise regimen??

Yeah. My tummy doesn’t think so either. My hips, thighs and junk concur.

But my scale pulled me aside the other day and had a little talk with me. He has been genuinely concerned for quite some time. Apparently I needed an intervention; the numbers weren’t looking good.

“But can’t we wait until January 1st”, I pleaded.

“At this rate, I may not last until January 1st.” replied Mr. Scale.

He was right. Something needs to be done.

I grieved.

I mourned.

“But I don’t want to give up eating pie. I don’t want to miss out on the Halloween treats!” I exclaimed.

“Well the words ‘in moderation’ are obviously not in your vocabulary.” retorted Mr. Scale.

“Touche, Scale, touche.”

And I began my Elisabeth Kubler-Ross stages of grief.

Stage 1: Denial:
I don’t eat that bad! Everybody gains weight with age. I’m not as young as I once was; I’m just growing into my woman figure. Somebody must have put my jeans in the dryer because I can’t even zip them anymore!

Stage 2: Anger:
OMG! who put my cotton pickin’ jeans in the dryer!? Then, after seeing myself in a bathing suit, I realized that I am a walking, talking before picture and feel so angry that I let myself get this way.

Stage 3: Bargaining:
Please God, let these jeans zip. I promise I will eat Subway for lunch.
Ok, we both know that Subway ain’t going to happen. How about Taco Bell and a diet soda? Please?
The bargaining continues with myself. “I had a rough day so I deserve [insert anything calorie-ridden here]. Or…the sacrifice of getting healthy (and less tasty) whole wheat bread will cancel out the cheese (or meatballs) on my sandwich. Compromise is the name of my bargaining game.

Stage 4: Depression:
Winter is coming and I can’t fit in anything with a zipper in my closet. Then realizing that I don’t fit in “the next size up” fat pants in my closet either. OMG! I need 2 sizes up. Perhaps reconciling to hermitage in my house and leaving on a need-to-go basis may get me through the winter. Call it hibernation…I call getting through a “my-clothes-don’t-fit” crisis.

Stage 5: Acceptance:
Only a few more years until I am doomed to mom jeans and a minivan anyway. I might as well work on my baking skills so at least people won’t ask questions. No one trusts a skinny cook anyway.

Thanks to the married 15, I’ve been on a roller coaster journey through all of those stages this past year. But I’ve realized that when it comes to tight fitting jeans that won’t button, the journey isn’t over; there is yet another stage to experience. Allow me to reveal the next stage after my momentary irrational period of acceptance:

Stage 6: You’ve got to be freakin kidding me.
This stage is multi-level.
Level 1- On the surface I joke around with others about the junk in my trunk, the fine family “thigh, hips and junk” gene that was generously passed down to me. Emphasis on the generously.
Level 2- Next, joke around with myself that everyone gains the married 15; it’s like a rite of passage.
Level 3- Then, I try to wear a style that my thinner self once wore and suddenly have the epiphany that I should be banned from any department labeled “juniors”. Welcome to the Misses. Holiday vests. Elastic-waisted jeans. Polo shirts in assorted colors. YOU’VE GOT TO BE FREAKIN KIDDING ME.
Level 4- Sheer panic. Terror. Horror. Stuck in a nightmare and you can’t sock yourself enough in the face to wake up out of it.

Yes. You have got to be freakin kidding me.

I think we all get to a point with ourselves where we have just had enough. Enough tiredness. Enough lack of energy. Enough tight fitting jeans. Enough of the 5 lb weight gain turning into 10…and then cutting off all communication with the scale; He’s a liar anyway. Enough putting it off for another day, starting over January 1st when we get past the holidays (no matter what month it currently is)…Enough excuses. Enough deferred hope.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12

I am so tired of being sick and tired (both literally and figuratively). I am so tired of buying into the excuse that it is too much effort to change a habit… that the mountain is too big to move… that I’m going to fail anyway.

That excuse is rooted in fear and that fear is well justified, however. I can’t even count how many times I’ve started a “diet” or “workout” program and not followed through. I give myself a huge pat on the back if I make it past day 3. I’m not proud of that, but it is the truth.

So what will make this time around any different you might ask.

Good question.

The odds are stacked against me.

+It’s getting cooler (or at least it should be) and I would rather be cozy on the couch watching The Biggest Loser rather than participating in it.

+The next 3 months are chow down time. I’m talking some serious holiday sweets for a sweet-addicted person.

+My energy level is non-existent.

+I don’t have that kind of time.

+I like pie.

And those are all very good reasons why I have decided to start my “New Years Resolution” 3 months early. If I can make it through the most difficult time of the year, then come January… this new lifestyle should be a piece of cake. (Did somebody say cake?) But getting through those 3 months is going to require a little borrowed strength from God himself. I seem to find that God blesses your efforts when you come to the realization that you need Him during the process. And boy, oh boy, do I need Him.

“I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

My plan is Body for Life. Have y’all heard of it? It is a 12 week program that teaches healthy eating and has a day-by-day fitness regimen. (Thank goodness for structure!) My “week 12” of the program will end the week of New Years. My goal is not to make a resolution on January 1st, but to BE my New Years resolution and to have one heck of a celebration because of it. Doesn’t that sound like such an awesome idea? Does anyone want to join me? :)

Here is a sneak peek at the book and success journal:


Purchase Your Copy Here

I will explain a little more about the program (and why I have chosen this one in particular over others) tomorrow… so check back for that. You never know… you might lose your marbles with me and decide to join in!
It is never too late to start living healthy. :) I should know. 😉
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  • jessica

    lol (literally) you pretty much summed me up in a nutshell as well. i would like to participate. i need to find that book again. i remember i really liked it. it didn’t really feel like a diet to me. and boy do i ever need to do something quick! haha.

  • jessica

    lol (literally) you pretty much summed me up in a nutshell as well. i would like to participate. i need to find that book again. i remember i really liked it. it didn’t really feel like a diet to me. and boy do i ever need to do something quick! haha.